Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Wizard Week: 11 Ways to Use Harry Potter to Annoy a Twilight Fan

As some guy named Andrew Futral once said, "Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity.  Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend."  I also think that Twilight is a girl's decision between necrophilia and bestiality... and neither is a good idea. 

Twilight is clearly not as cool as Harry Potter.  It's horribly written and basically lame all around.  Yet millions of people (mostly females in heat) are fans of the Twilight books and movies... and all swooning over either Jacob or Edward.

Screw sparkly vampires.  I'm TEAM HARRY!

And today I found something pretty awesome on MuggleNet written by someone named Erin:

11 Ways to Use Harry Potter to Annoy a Twilight Fan

1. Steal their copy of Twilight and replace it with one of your Harry Potter books in a Twilight dust jacket.
2. Tell them that Edward is a "hand-me-down" because the Twilight movies got him after the Harry Potter movies were finished with him.
3. List other "hand-me-downs" from the books, like the last names of Black and Clearwater...
4. State that you think Edward would be hotter if he had a lightning scar on his forehead.
5. "Accidentally" call Edward, Sanguini.
6. Explain in detail how any wizard can possess all the gifts (seeing the future, reading minds, etc.), that a vampire would only have one of.
7. Whenever they mention Jacob Black, innocently ask if they meant Stubby Boardman.
8. Say that Bella and Filch would make a cute couple.
9. Flinch whenever they say "Edward" and tell them to say "You-Know-Who."
10. Whenever they describe the vampires of the Twilight series (sparkly skin, no fangs, etc.), contradict them, and tell them what "real" vampires, out of Harry Potter, are like.
11. Explain how Twilight werewolves are really Animagi, and ask whether they've registered with the Ministry.

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