First off, we saw so many wonderful animals! Some of our favorites include the elephants (including baby elephant Zuri), the rhinos, the red kangaroo, and the giraffes!
|"Wow... that mama elephant sure is a pumpkin hog! Share with your baby, lady!"|
|"Aww... the rhino is a sad face."|
|"We've passed this kangaroo like three times... has it moved once from that spot? LAZY!"|
|"Isn't it crazy that we had to climb up a floor just to be at eye level with these giraffes?"|
While we were looking at the tigers, Brian mentioned that his friend and her boyfriend had gotten sprayed by the tigers last time they were there. But did those tigers spray us? No. And I couldn't help feeling a little sad that the animals never did anything crazy while I was around. How come gorillas don't masturbate in front of me? Am I not sexy enough? How come the chimpanzees don't fling poop at me? Am I not a sufficient target for their rage? How come I've never been mauled by a lion or torn apart by a bear for getting too close to their cages?
So to cheer me up, Brian decided to break into the nearest exhibit...
|"Watch me rip apart this stone wall!"|
|"I wanna' be like you-oo-oo!"|
But little did I know, my own far more exciting adventures were soon to come. While exploring the zoo's gift shop, Brian stumbled upon some strange candies. Suckers filled with scorpions... Boxes of crickets and larvae in flavors such as Sour Cream and Onion, Barbecue, Salt and Vinegar, and Bacon and Cheddar...
|"Hey, Jack! Look at these snacks... disgusting! Who would eat these?"|
I turned into a turtle!
|"What the ----?"|
|"AAAAAAH! Oh my gosh! Don't eat me!"|
|"Ga Ga Goo Goo"|
|"Why do you have a faucet on your tongue?! EEEK!"|
|"Thank Goodness I turned into a zebra, now I have to find Brian again..."|
|"Yay! What a fantastic day we had at the Hogle Zoo!"|