Showing posts with label gay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay. Show all posts

Thursday, December 25, 2014

God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen


"Gentlemen and Birds" by Patric Bates
Who are these merry gentlemen?

In the poem “Lone Gentlemen” (or “Gentlemen Alone” depending on the translation), Pablo Neruda writes of the “gay young men” who, like everyone else it seems, spend the night like “raucous cats that cruise my garden in the shadows,/ like a necklace of pulsating oysters of sex/ surround my lonely residence,/ like enemies lined up against my soul,/ like conspirators in bedroom clothes/who exchange long deep kisses to order.”  By the light of the moon there is “an endless movement of trousers” and in the movie theaters “the heroes are studs or princes mad with passion.”

Are these the gentlemen?  These gay young men?

Under the flashing colored lights pulsating with the rhythm coursing through our bodies from the baseline in our foot soles to the vibrating fingers to the buzzing of our teeth, we dance.  Brian and I.  Two gay men in the middle of a straight night club in downtown Provo.  We laugh, we sweat, we live.  Tired, I lean against the stage and Brian, tired too, rests his head on my shoulder.  The blue and green lights move about the dance floor in the shapes of stars—restless constellations refusing to be charted.  A pair of boots, jeans, a belt buckle and finally a scruffy-faced man in a cowboy hat has fully approached us through the stars.  Brian removes his head from my shoulder.  I tense as I’m suddenly face-to-face with this stranger.  His hand moves forward; I flinch.  “Keep being true to you,” he mumbles quietly.  I shake his hand.  He tips his hat.  And just like that he’s disappeared in the shadows of the endless movement of the night.

Surely this man was a gentleman.  So are my male friends who tell me the strange symbol on my dashboard means my tire pressure is low and then offer to fill them up for me.  Gentlemen like my friend Austin who tries so hard to schedule double dates with me and Brian and he and his wife.  Or Dink who helps me with difficult watch repairs, even though he works at the jewelry store across the hall.  Or guys like Jordan who go out of their way to tell me that I'm a good writer, even though I don't know him that well.  Gentlemen like my father who ministers to the poor and the needy, telling them that God loves them no matter what... even if they are gay.

In the Patric Bates print “Gentlemen and Birds” which hangs on my wall at home—the one I bought from the artist himself at the Provo Farmers Market this summer—the central figure is dressed in a top hat and scarves that wrap around his neck and shoulders and arms like a straightjacket.  Others in the crowd face him.  They seem to suffocate him with their stares and their bird beaks and their hands like claws.  The man’s eyes are full of sorrow.  The sorrow of the world, it seems. 

God rest ye, merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember Christ, our Savior,
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy.

Two nights before Christmas, Rusty and Maxwell, two gay men in Salt Lake City, experience a similar night of dancing under the pulsating neon lights of the club.  Only this club is a gay club—Club Jam.  Tired and sweaty, they leave the club, like raucous cats, and cruise the streets in the shadows.  “Hey, faggots!” they hear.  They continue to walk home, which is just across the street, ignoring the childlike taunts of their tormentors—the jabs of the beaks.  They arrive at their own driveway.  “Get out of here, faggots,” one pursuer shouts.  “We live here,” they say, voices trembling cold under the stars.  A punch to the head and Rusty falls to the ground.   Another man jumps on Maxwell, hitting him repeatedly with his fists—a steady baseline to the furious rhythm of his hate.  Only sadness in the eyes of the gay young gentlemen now.  Their arms are strapped down, not by scarves but by other hands—hands like claws—hands of their enemies mad with passion.

O tidings of comfort and joy. 

When can we ever find rest?  Or merriment?  We were promised it long ago.  Must we forever be gentlemen alone?

Friday, September 12, 2014

Thoughts on Being the Class Queer

Brian, Mia, Tiffany and I watching the Crowley County Days Mud Races.

In case you are unawares, I've been feeling older than dirt lately (assuming, of course, that dirt is only 27 years old).  This fact was highlighted for me when I attended my ten-year high school reunion.  Class reunions are decidedly for old people only.  How on earth did I graduate a decade ago?  And what have I done since then?  Yikes.

I can't remember who it was, but somebody asked me, upon returning, if any of my classmates had problems with me being gay.  I wasn't "out" in high school so, to be perfectly honest, I was a little afraid of that as well.  Of course many of them are friends with me on Facebook so it wasn't a new thing.  But still, seeing that an old acquaintance is gay via social media is not the same as hanging out with him and his gay husband for a weekend.  People might be stand-offish, right?

Wrong.  Nobody gave a shit.  Obviously my more liberal, Denver-living, pot-smoking, Obama-voting classmates didn't care.  Not surprising there.  But neither did my "I listen to Christian rock stations every morning as I drive to work" classmates.  Or my "I'm still living down here, working the farm" classmates.  Not even my "I stabbed a guy once, served some time, and now I work at a gas station" classmates.  Seriously, nobody cared.

This made me happy.  And I truly had a fantastic time at my reunion.  We gathered together on a Friday night out at Mia's family home near the lake where we grilled hamburgers and hotdogs, reminisced over old yearbooks, met people's significant others and children, got reacquainted, drank beers, built a float and danced a little out in the barn.  That's how small towns do reunions.

The next day was Crowley County Days, a big celebration in my little hometown of Ordway with a parade and everything.  Our class won "Best Class Reunion float."  Suck it, Class of '64!  And later on, watching the good ol' boys race each other in beefed up trucks through pits of mud, me and my gay husband sat in the back of a pickup truck amongst Confederate flags and the most hillbilly of hillbillies, feeling absolutely content with the world.  At least I did.  Brian was probably wishing he were back in Utah and far away from Confederate flags ("We're not even in the South!" he exclaimed in astonishment).  But yeah.  It felt pretty good to be home.

Would I ever move back?  Hell no!  But still... it felt nice.

Not long after that, back in Provo, some friends and I took a night drive in a yellow convertible.  Cruising down 500 West, laughing and feeling free, singing along to the radio we heard the unmistakable shout of "Faggots!" from the vehicle in the lane beside us.  It looked like a man was driving with his wife beside him.  In the backseat, a high-school-aged boy had the window rolled down and yelled at us again.  His parents laughed.

My friend shouted "I love you!" as we sped ahead.  We blasted Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" for the rest of the drive back to my house.  Of course we just laughed about it.  The whole thing was pretty ridiculous.

But I'm still a little shocked and a little saddened that hatred like this still exists.  That parents would encourage that kind of behavior.  That bullying is seen as okay.  I'm reminded of how much work needs to be done to make Provo a safe place for the LGBTQ community.  I'm reminded why I ever got involved with the Provo Pride Council to begin with.

Next weekend is our Second Annual Provo Pride Festival and this year I'm festival director.  That means I've met with the mayor and various city officials to get permits, shot off emails to the police department in terms of security and barricades, drawn up the festival map, met with a guy who can get us food trucks, contracted port-o-potties, and met with the rest of the amazingly dedicated council week after week to insure that this year is even better than last.  All this I try to do between college classes and full-time hours at work.

Why?  Because Provo needs it.

Last Sunday I watched a high school kid win a youth drag show that we put on.  He's a kid who regularly gets bullied for his fashion choices or his actions.  Who gets bullied for being gay.  And in that moment of coronation--of recognition and respect instead of judgment and ridicule--I saw his happiness.  I felt his tears.  I wore his smile.

It felt nice.

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