Thursday, July 21, 2011

I Want to be a Writer

"A writer? What do you have to write about? You're not oppressed. You're not gay."

That's what Shaun Brumder's dad says to him when he announces his desire to be a writer in the movie Orange County.  Luckily for me, I am oppressed and I am gay.  Not that I necessarily want to write about my gay oppression, but I have decided recently (or has it been always?) that I would like to be a writer.  Words seem to have become more beautiful and expressive to me.  I'm still an artist... but letters are my paint and blank pages are my canvas.

I'm currently working on a novel, A Tent in Summer, which seems to be evolving into something quite different than the original premise.  "Books write themselves," Brian always says to me.  In a way they do.  My life seems to do the same.  It blossoms, it unfurls, it unravels, it metamorphizes, it transcends beyond me and through me and with me and without me and sometimes I just hang on for the ride not knowing where it might lead me.

I decide things on a whim oftentimes.  And sometimes my whims are fruitful and sometimes they are as barren as a desert.  But regardless the outcome, my whims are my own.  And I don't regret a single turn, for better or worse, that my life has taken.  Every detour and off-ramp and roundabout and sideshow attraction has entertained me, scared me, uplifted me, shaped me, molded me into who I am. 

Small dusty towns, Temple Square, farmland, tall buildings and seedy motel rooms in Los Angeles.  The Book of Mormon, The Bible, Harry Potter, Lewis Carroll, Charles Dickens and Ray Bradbury.  Proselytizing on Chilean soil, performing in community theater, Spanish lessons, art classes, animation, drama club, choir and Intro to Film.  Otero Junior College, Brigham Young University, elementary, high school, Seminary, diplomas and awards.  Soaps and lotions, suit coats and mannequins, hot dogs and popcorn.  Paycheck to paycheck.  Trips to San Francisco or Disney World or The Grand Ole Opry.  Girlfriends, boyfriends, crushes, friends, enemies, family, love and divorce.  Nights under the stars and days under the sun.  Indoors and outdoors.  Laughing and crying.  Breathing in and breathing out.  Stepping forward and stepping back.  Falling down then getting up.

Today I applied to Utah Valley University here in Orem, Utah.  Thirty-five dollars for the application fee; fifteen minutes of my time.  Major?  English with an emphasis in Creative Writing.  Perhaps I'll be a successful author.  Or perhaps I'll become an English teacher.  Or perhaps I'll change my mind later.  I guess I'll never know.  I just trust that my life is heading somewhere, if not anywhere I've expected.

3 comments:

~BeX~ said...

One of the things I love most about you, Jack, is your passion. You write beautifully and I can totally see you as author and illustrator of a successful series of children's books. Or, hell, as anything else you want to be.

Penelope Lolohea said...

Awesome! My mom is an English major. She absolutely loves it.

I'm glad you're going to school! Even if you change your major, just being there is great. (This coming from the hypocrite who isn't there. Lol.) And kudos on writing your book! Your blog posts have an amazing voice. Your book will be great!

Micah Schow said...

I apologize in advance for my lengthy response.

I was an English Major for a while. What a delightful humanity. Even though my course of training has shifted, I still consider myself a faithful advocate of the written word.

Now I'm studying Internet Tech because it's profitable, interesting and because my boyfriend is a computer science major. But I still consider English to be my greatest passion, in some way, shape or form. And, deep down in my heart, I think I still want to write sitcoms for NBC.

You know, I kind of envy you. I feel like my writing has some kind of structure and flow to it, but not the kind yours has. To me, your writing feels like a willow tree and my writing feels like a concrete building. I would elaborate on that simile, but I can tell from the two blog posts I've read that you're imaginative enough to understand what I mean.

Oh, by the way, obviously I don't want you spreading certain things around the water cooler at Cinemark... particularly that I have a boyfriend. I already have an ill enough reputation as it is, being a furry.

Have a good'n.

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