Saturday, April 10, 2010


I think it was about 4 years ago that my sister Renee moved in with my dad, leaving my brother alone with our mom and stepdad.  I got the news through an email, while sitting in a cyber cafe somewhere in Chile.  I can't remember exactly which city I was in at the time.  It was a Monday though.  Renee was having problems.  She hated the town she was in, her grades were suffering, and she and my stepdad were having a lot of problems.  They would fight all the time, I guess, and ultimately it was decided that she'd be better off living with my dad a few hours away. 

When I returned home from Chile in the fall of 2007, it was still the same living situation.  Eventually my dad married his third wife and my mom divorced her second husband, and it came to be that my mom moved off to Washington to start anew bringing both Daniel and Renee with her.  Living with my dad hadn't been the solution for Renee before.  Her grades were still awful, she fought with him constantly, so Washington was going to be another clean slate.

Or so we thought.  My mom and sister butted heads more than they ever had in their whole lives.  I heard fragmented bits of stories about punching, and pushing, and yelling... praying the whole time that things would get better for my little sis.  Hoping that she'd grow out of this and take control of her own life.  But when my mom met her third husband and moved to Idaho with him, Renee and Daniel got sent back to Colorado with my dad again.

For a good while it seemed like everyone was happy.  Renee was performing well in school, she wasn't so moody, she had a boyfriend, we were all happy for her.  But soon I caught wind of silly teenage rebellion stuff... dabbling in a little bit of this, a little bit of that.  Soon she was failing again.  Acting out.

Just last night I logged in to Facebook to read my mom's status, "So excited for Renee to move to Idaho tomorrow."  What?  I texted my mother immediately, and got a call back where she explained that a few days ago Renee had called her crying and saying that she hated life in Coloardo, she couldn't go to her school anymore because the kids were so mean to her, and that she just needed to move away.  My parents decided she could stick out the school year and then move, up until Renee told my mom "the real reason" she needed to move, and a plane ticket was bought immediately.  My sister flies into Idaho today.

I have no idea what the real reason is.  My mom wouldn't tell me, and apparently she's the only one who knows.  My dad doesn't even know why Renee has to leave.  I texted my sister after talking with my mom and said, "I read on Facebook that you're moving.  Want to talk about it?" to which she replied "Not really."

My sister's only 16 years old and I worry about her constantly.  But what hurts me the most, is that she doesn't talk to me anymore.  We used to be so close.  I used to feel like I had a connection with Renee that the others in the family didn't have.  We used to share secrets.  Not anymore.  Today there's a secret being kept, and it's being kept from me.


Miss Kayla said...

Secrets are toxic.

Joaquin the Chihuahua said...

True. She did text me a few days ago saying she missed me... maybe we can start reconnecting again.


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