While at work, I caved in to my growling stomach and hit the food court. Normally McDonald's or Taco Time are the two that beckon me, but not this time. It was Panda Express and their new Honey Walnut Shrimp that called my name. "Jack... Jack... Come devour our more-american-than-chinese cuisine!" So I obeyed and came running. I gave them my order, which was translated into Spanish for the other workers, and soon I was in the back room of my store with a styrofoam box of glorious goodness before me!
Wow. So delicious. Completely worth spending the money that could have been used for gasoline or toothpaste or something much more necessary. I still had a few minutes left of my break, so I thumbed through one of my manager's gossip mags. Looking at the movie stars with all their money and fame and success proved only to make me bitter, so I threw the magazine down in disgust. "I don't know how she can read these trashy magazines all day!"
Then I saw it. My fortune cookie. I had almost forgotten about it. My fingers, greasy with soy sauce, fumbled with the wrapper for a while and then clumsily broke into the cookie. I pulled the two halves apart to reveal the fortune within: YOU WILL OVERCOME DIFFICULT TIMES.
Oh, what words of comfort! My chinese ancestors were sending me a message! I must take my father's place and join the army against the Huns, bringing honor to my family and... wait, that's Mulan. I don't have chinese ancestors. Lame, then that means I don't have a dragon or a cricket either... Whatever. I don't need any of those things, because I will overcome these difficult times! I'm not entirely sure how, I'm not entirely sure when, and I'm not entirely sure how legit this Panda Express fortune is... but I'll take it for what it's worth.