Friday, December 3, 2010

22 Days: Christmas List

Brian's mom is one of those super-women.  You know who I'm talking about.  Those women who have the halls decked, the trees trimmed and the gifts bought long before December even hits.  I wouldn't be surprised if she was done with her Christmas shopping back in October.  She's just that good!

Me, on the other hand...  Sigh.  I'm not Wonder Woman quite yet.  I'm not even the guy bringing her coffee.

I'm just now finalizing the Christmas list.  And it's a lot harder than it should be.  Why can't people just say what they want?  "Surprise me!" is a stupid answer if you actually want a gift you will enjoy.  Surprise me?  Here's a bucket of warm spit, are you surprised?!  I bet you weren't expecting that!

Unless you're my ex-step-father Steve.  Every birthday and Christmas he would say "a bucket of warm spit" whenever you asked him what he wanted.  So people either say to surprise them or they give you some smart-ass response.  My brother wants his own private island for Christmas.  And my dad thinks he's funny too, saying, "My two front teeth."  Then he adds, "Make it a bling bling grill."

Everyone's a comedian.  Why can't people be more like me?  I let people know what I want.  I want money.  Yep.  That's it.  Money.  You can write me a check or give it to me in cold, hard cash.  I'm dreaming of a green Christmas and I don't mean eco-friendly.

3 comments:

Mishqueen said...

Actually, my family may be boring, but we each have a tab in Google Documents online, where throughout the year we throw things on and off our list when we think of it. That way, people can shop in May if they darn well please. It has worked out really well for us, and there's still a lot of leeway in the surprise (which of the 20 items, what color/model/specs is it, did we upgrade what you asked for?). You get the idea.

Rah-Nah said...
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Renee said...
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