Friday, December 3, 2010
22 Days: Christmas List
Me, on the other hand... Sigh. I'm not Wonder Woman quite yet. I'm not even the guy bringing her coffee.
I'm just now finalizing the Christmas list. And it's a lot harder than it should be. Why can't people just say what they want? "Surprise me!" is a stupid answer if you actually want a gift you will enjoy. Surprise me? Here's a bucket of warm spit, are you surprised?! I bet you weren't expecting that!
Unless you're my ex-step-father Steve. Every birthday and Christmas he would say "a bucket of warm spit" whenever you asked him what he wanted. So people either say to surprise them or they give you some smart-ass response. My brother wants his own private island for Christmas. And my dad thinks he's funny too, saying, "My two front teeth." Then he adds, "Make it a bling bling grill."
Everyone's a comedian. Why can't people be more like me? I let people know what I want. I want money. Yep. That's it. Money. You can write me a check or give it to me in cold, hard cash. I'm dreaming of a green Christmas and I don't mean eco-friendly.