Friday, September 3, 2010

Cabbage Soup Diet: Day Four

"This s*** is bananas!  B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"

And so is this diet.  Day Four had me eating bananas and skim milk all day long.  I'm not sure if I'm losing weight or slowly regressing into an orangutan.  So much for the theory of evolution.

Brian was doing some regressing today as well.  In the beginning he was walking tall, handling this diet without complaint.  Today, however, he was reduced to almost nothing.  Crawling around on the floor in hunger.

"I don't look any skinnier!" he lamented.  "This diet isn't working.  It's dumb.  Let's stop doing it."

"I know it sucks.  But we can't quit," I said firmly.  I'm such a quitter.  I need to follow through with something.  "Besides, I'm blogging about it," I added, "What will people think if we quit?"

"Just write like you're still doing it."

What a tempting idea!  But no, we're sticking this thing out.  Self-inflicted torture is apparently my new thing.

I bet I've planted a seed of doubt in your mind now, haven't I?  By mentioning the "just lie" comment?  You're probably wondering if I'm still doing the diet or if I'm just saying that I'm still doing the diet.  Well, I guess you'll have to just trust me.

Or ask yourself this:  Is an orangutan capable of deceit?

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