10 Reasons Why Clint McCance Should Shut Up

10.  Arkansas is already considered by many to be a backwards sort of inbred state...  they don't need the rest of the nation to see the horrible grammar and spelling their school board officials use.

9.  Everyone knows that the real reason he got so upset is that he likes to wear lavender on Wednesdays.  And lavender is not the same as purple.  Purple is gaudy and lavender is lovely.

8.  His poor kids probably feel like chopped liver right about now.  I mean, the whole world knows that he would shun them in a heartbeat if they gave him cause to.  They're probably so sad that the only thing keeping them from ending their own lives is knowing that it will just make their father happy.

7.  The man is clearly just jealous that we don't have a special day dedicated to him.  Maybe we could wear red for Redneck Day.  Or Republican Day.  Eh... same thing, really.

6.  He says, "I like that fags can't procreate" and then also says, "I can't believe the people of this word (he means world) have gotten this stupid."  Well, maybe if homosexuals COULD procreate, there wouldn't be any more STUPID people left!  Ha!  Take that, Clint!

5.  People have been so outraged by his comments that he's had to send his family out of state for their safety.  Now that they've seen what life is like outside of Arkansas, they're never going to want to return.  I think he's just lost his family for good...

4. If he keeps misusing Facebook like this, Mark Zuckerberg might get pissed off and return the social networking site to its Ivy League-exclusive roots.  Then we'd all be kicked off.  How could I possibly live without Facebook?  How will I talk to my friends?

3.  Now the Midland School District has to find his replacement.  That's got to be tough.  I mean, if they had to hire him in the first place, pickings must be slim out in those parts.  What will their ad say?  "NOW HIRING:  School Board Official.  Basic computer knowledge discouraged.  Must not have a Facebook account."

2.  He says, "I also enjoy the fact that they often give each other AIDS and die."  Thanks a lot, man, you just gave away what I'm getting Brian for Christmas!  Way to let the cat out of the bag!  Do you know how hard it is to return AIDS?  Even with a receipt?

1.  The only Clint anyone cares to watch on their home television sets is Clint Eastwood.  Now that's a real man.