I just spent hours and hours writing a new post, just to have it get lost forever! I clicked Publish Post, which had me sign in again, which then said, "Sorry, but we were unable to process your request," or something like that. It's not saved on here anywhere. How tragic!
Okay, so "hours and hours" probably refers to like a half hour of time wasted, but still! I had written a literary masterpiece here! Oh well, it's probably for the best since it was becoming increasingly more mopey and sad.
You see, I'm troubled by how all of my LDS friends, old missionary companions, relatives, etc. now all hate me. It's puzzling to me, that while I was a phony and a fake they all adored me, and now that I feel like I'm a much more honest and true individual they want nothing to do with me. They don't speak to me (although I'm sure they all speak of me) and could really care less whether I lived or died. It's a shame that religious people are often the least compassionate. I feel that I've become much more Christlike outside of the Church than I ever was in the Church.
I have two old friends that are currently serving LDS missions, and although I've written letters of encouragement to them, they probably don't even read them. They've never written me back, and I feel hurt that my words mean nothing to them just because I'm gay. Just because I've fallen from the pedestal they once placed me on, and I've revealed myself to be human. I guess now they are on the path towards Godhood--yes, Mormons believe they will be gods some day--and simply being human is probably the worst crime in their eyes. Being a gay human is even worse. I don't pretend to know all the answers, but I do believe that we should love our neighbor as ourself. I do believe a certain Jesus Christ had that to say.
Today I got an email from my missionary friend's mother. He is sick and if things don't get better he'll be sent home. She's requesting our prayers. Even my prayers. Me, a gay man who is unfit to speak to her or write to her son, yet still able to speak to God. I ask this: If God will always hear me, why can't they?