My Most Embarrassing Comics of the Past Year

Friends, we are quickly approaching the one-year anniversary of Joaquin the Chihuahua, and I have been spending some time reviewing the past year's worth of posts.  A few days ago I posted about some of my favorite comics and promised we'd take a look at some of my worst.  Unfortunately, most of the 88 comics I've drawn so far have been utter crap... but there have been some good ones.  Hopefully you agree.  But these ten I'm about to share with you are absolutely the most embarrassing ones!  If I had any sense I would delete them forever.  Instead, I'm making you look at them all over again.  Like a car wreck.  You just can't stop looking.

10.  Our 50th Comic!
So it's kinda cute maybe, but seriously... this is what I do to celebrate my 50th comic?  I even wrote "yeah, this is it..." on it, that's how pathetic it is!
9.  I Felt a Burning in My Wallet, and Knew it Was True
Here's another example of my laziness.  It's a copy of the cover of an Ikea magazine.  And not only was I lazy, I was sacrilegious too.
8.  My Name is Jack, and I'm a Gleek...
There's an odd disconnect with my hand and my face in this one.  It's weird isn't it?  The hand is very detailed and my face is really simple.  I hate that face.
7.  Jack's Indoor Hair/Outdoor Hair, Mesun's Indoor Hair/Outdoor Hair, Brian's Indoor Hair/Outdoor Hair
A three-way tie!  I don't like any of these!  Mostly, because I don't like how bad our faces look.  We all look like we are stoned.  I also think the whole series would have made more sense in one comic.  I think separating it out killed the joke.
6.  10 Reasons to Obsess Over "Veronica and Friends" #4:  Movies
I have a love/hate relationship with this one.  As far as the joke itself, I actually like it.  It makes me smile.  But the characters I drew are just so inconsistent with the rest!  Brian and I look like we are little children, don't we?  Like toddlers!
5.  At Least We Had Show Tunes to Keep Us Company
Apparently black construction paper with speech bubbles glued on qualifies as a comic.  Oh, and the comic (if we're calling it one) has nothing to do with show tunes.  Nope.  Nada.
4.  Wait, We Have a Gay Agenda?
My head looks ridiculous... like I have a giant wig on top.  And that profile of Brian was a bad idea.  He looks like a monkey.  Then I made up a gay organization called FAGS... so tacky!  And on top of that, the whole thing is just words, words, and more words.  Blah blah blah.  And the end result?  Boring.
3.  Juvenile Delinquents Should Learn to Spell
So, I drew this one on pre-punched animation paper for some reason, and you can totally see the punch at the bottom.  But that's not why I hate it.  My head is drawn way too big and the whole thing isn't that funny... 
2.  Can You Guess Which School is Going to Heaven?
Ugh... these are pretty much the worst people I've ever drawn.  Ever.  They are so flat-looking.  And the whole thing just looks cluttered.
1.  You Get Cat Piss, I Get California
Although the comic itself wasn't really that bad, the fact that a cat peed on it and I still posted it online for all to see is pretty awful.  A professional would have redone it.  But me?  No.  I just leave it pee-stained.

Photos of Our Hotel Room

Extra! Extra!

First off, I want to brag about how talented my Brian is.  He only joined Marjorie Ballentine's acting class two weeks ago, and she's already talking about switching him from the Monday beginner class to the Wednesday advanced class.  She told him this after he finished delivering a spectacular monologue this week.  His next assignment is to do a scene with another actor.  Sometime this week he needs to get together with her and rehearse.  I hope he can find the time!

You see, Brian's suddenly a busy guy!  Through his temp agency, he has been placed into a part-time data entry job with an auto dealer in Santa Clarita.  It doesn't pay very well, but a perk is that he can work whenever he wants, as long as he gets in twenty-four hours a week.  So it's very flexible for an aspiring actor.  And when he isn't working there he's working as a background actor, commonly known as an extra.  He's signed up with Central Casting, and he's starting to get gigs pretty frequently.

Being an extra has got to be the easiest job in the world.  From what I understand, Brian will be sitting in the holding area for hours at a time getting paid to just sit there and eat all of the free food.  And when they finally need the extras on set, he just goes out there and has pretend conversations in the background.  Then he comes home with a hundred dollars or more!  Most shoots run about twelve hours, and they pay over-time for anything above eight.  Essentially, what Brian makes in a week at his "real" job, he can make in a long day of being an extra.

And on top of all that, he gets to see celebrities! Unfortunately, I've been told not to name any names or we'd be sued for three million dollars.  I don't have three million dollars, so I'll keep quiet.  But just know that he's met several people that have made me very jealous.  He's seen television actors, movie actors, theater actors, and even an Olympian.

So the question is:  Why am I not an extra?

The Gleek Critique: "Sexy" Episode

Mr. Schuester and Holly Holiday dance together... and then some.  Image property of Fox.

The episode opens with Emma holding a meeting of the Celibacy Club (consisting of Rachel, a virgin, and Quinn, who's not) and is encouraging the girls to abstain from sex until their honeymoon... or later.  However, Holly Holiday is back at McKinley High teaching Sex Ed and she thinks the more informed the better.  I mean, the kids are so clueless about sex that they think they can get AIDS from a cucumber.  Brittany thinks she's pregnant because she found a bird's nest.  And let's not forget Finn believing he had fathered Quinn's baby because they kissed in a hot tub.

And the sexual problems continue.  Lauren wants to make a sex tape with Puck in order to become famous, which would of course be child pornography since they are under eighteen years of age.  Then Brittany is confused about her relationship with Santana.  When she tries to talk to Santana about it, she blows it off like it's no big deal.  She doesn't like labels.  Luckily, Holly is around to help all of these students.  But she doesn't just help teens.  Dr. Carl asks her to speak with him and Emma, and lo and behold, it's revealed that Emma still has feelings for Will.  That's problematic for both Dr. Carl (Emma's husband) and for Holly who's falling for Will as well.

Meanwhile, Sue, hoping to get some secrets in return, tells Kurt and Blaine that New Directions is focusing on their sex appeal.  This makes Blaine wonder whether The Warblers are sexy enough, so they invite a girls school to watch them sing and give them feedback.  Turns out the guys are pretty sexy as a whole, but Kurt's "sexy face" looks like he's constipated.   He confesses to Blaine that he doesn't feel very sexy.  In fact, sex kind of scares him in general.  So what does Blaine do?  He goes to Kurt's dad and tells him to have "the talk" with his son.

The Pros:

• Holly Holiday had some pretty fun quotes about sex.  Like saying it's "just like hugging, only wetter" or that teaching abstinence is "like saying vegetarianism is an option for lions."
• "Animal" by Neon Trees sung by Blaine, Kurt and The Warblers was pretty awesome... mostly because Kurt sang and he hasn't sung in far too long!  Although, he did sound a bit synthesized.  But it's Glee, so that's normal.
• Prince's "Kiss" featured some unexpected tango-dancing which was pretty spectacular.  Hot damn Mr. Schue and Holly looked pretty sexy dancing together.  And that kiss?  Smoking!
• Some great scenes!  Brittany and Santana had some really emotional and touching scenes, which gave their characters some refreshing depth.  I also really enjoyed both of the scenes with Burt (Kurt's dad); the one where Blaine talks to him in the shop and when he later has a heart-to-heart with Kurt about sex.
• The Santana-Brittany-Holly cover of  the Stevie Nicks song "Landslide" was just beautiful.  When Santana started crying I was crying right with her!  Which leads me to the next point...
• Santana's a lesbian!

The Cons:

• "Afternoon Delight" was stupid.  Is anyone dumb enough to not know that song is one big sexual innuendo?
• I'm still against Finn and Quinn.  People with rhyming names shouldn't be together!  I'm pretty sure that's a law.
• Sue was only in one scene.

Chum Chat: Katie and 'The Daily Utah Chronicle'

Today’s “Chum Chat” is with my dear friend Katie Pratt.  She is an extremely busy woman, so I'm very lucky she had time to do this little interview with me.  On top of her studies at the University of Utah, she's also the current editor of the school newspaper The Daily Utah Chronicle.  Read on!

Joaquin:  Hey, Katie.  Although you go to school in Utah, you aren’t from there are you?

Katie:  No, I’m not.  I’m from southern California.

J:  So what made you decide to attend school at the University of Utah?

K:  I have loved Utah since I was a kid coming to visit my family.  It has been a great experience these past four years. 

J:  That’s great.  So what is your major at the U?

K:  I am an English major and love my classes for the most part! I especially like environmental literature and the Romantic period.

J:  Sounds like you enjoy what you are studying!  What do you hope to do with it?  I mean, where do you see yourself in ten years?  (Such a clichéd question, I know.)

K:  I don’t know what I want to do exactly... something that involves my interests in literature or editing.  I would love to be a wife and mom too!

J:  Of course!  Who says you can’t have a career and a family?  So how long have you been writing for The Daily Utah Chronicle?

K:  I have been with the “Chrony” for more than a year now.  I started as a writer, moved to editor.

J:  I was actually with you when you got the call about the promotion to editor!  Remember?  Tori and I were with you and we were shopping at the Gateway Mall!  So what exactly do you do now as the big bad editor?

K:  I coordinate what news will be in the paper every day and edit stories.  It is a challenging but rewarding job.

J:  I think it sounds awesome!  What do you love most about journalism?

K:  I don’t know if I can say I love journalism…

J:  Ha ha!  Um, okay…

K:  Well, I came across it in a sort of happenstance way.  I’ve always liked news though, and I’m an adequate writer, so I guess things just fell into place!  I’ve enjoyed having an “in” on all things going on at the U.

J:  You are more than adequate, my dear.  You say you like having an “in” on all things newsworthy, so what have been some of the most interesting articles you’ve written?  You know, stories you’ve covered…

K:  A highlight for me is definitely what I just finished working on now—the Tim DeChristopher case.  I am fascinated by his story.

J:  I’m not familiar with him... could you explain the story a little?

K:  He is a U alum and environmentalist who thwarted an auction that would have sold land near Moab, Utah to oil companies.  He is going to prison now.  Really amazing story

J:  I guess that’s what happens when I move out of Utah!  I miss all of the exciting news!  Do you think he should go to prison?

K:  No, I don't think he should be imprisoned but I think it is necessary to have the environmental movement publicized.  Hope that makes sense!

J:  Yeah, so you seem to care about the environment... a little liberal.  What exactly are your views on politics?

K:  Politics aren’t black and white for me.  I would consider myself a moderate.  I like to think I have a mix of progressive and traditional views.  I am fairly socially conservative, but liberal in my views of the role of government.  I am a total tree hugger!  Keep PBS!

And I don’t even get PBS in this hotel room!  Lame, huh?  Anyway, that’s the end of that.  I’d like to give a big thanks to Katie for participating in this “Chum Chat.”  Keep on writing, girl!

Metro to the Library

What can two guys do on a Saturday afternoon when they don't have a penny to their name?  Go someplace where the freeloaders unite without embarrassment:  the public library!  There one can get free books to read, free music to listen to, free movies to watch, and free internet to surf.  You can sit for free.  Stand for free.  Even wait in line for free.  Nothing costs you a dime!

Well, if you want to eat at the library's cafe or buy something from their bookstore, then yes, it costs money.  But everything else is free!  Oh, the ride there isn't necessarily free either.  If you are driving your car you'll spend money in gas and parking.  And if you take the Metro it'll cost you $1.50 every time you get on.

Brian and I decided it would be fun to take the Metro.  We hadn't ridden it yet since we've been in Los Angeles, but we figured it was high time to experience it.  Once school starts I'll be riding on it pretty often, so I figured I better get used to it.  I had never been on a subway train before, so it was a lot of fun for me.  Luckily I had Brian with me to help navigate the routes.  He was in New York City for a bit and rode the subway all the time, so he was much savvier than I.

The Soto Station is just two blocks down the street from the Antonio Hotel where we are living which is very convenient.  We took the Gold Line from there to Union Station, and then hopped onto the Red Line to Pershing Square.  When it comes time for me to go to school, I'll just have to stay on the Red Line until the North Hollywood stop.  Not too difficult.  But this time we got off at Pershing Square and walked a couple of blocks to the Los Angeles Public Library.

The library is a really beautiful old building, built back in the 1920s.  The architecture has a lot of Egyptian influence which was popular at the time.  For example the steps leading up to the library are inscribed with hieroglyphs and there's a pyramid at the very top of the roof.  So just walking around outside the library is fun enough, simply admiring the architecture.  We walked along the path around the grounds alongside park benches and trees, soaking in the sun before we ventured inside.

Once inside we browsed the store, explored the many floors of books, and even checked some out.  Well, not without encountering a few obstacles.  We were confused with the shelving system at first and then I almost didn't get a library card because the guy who helped me was a bit crazy.

"You want to check this out?" he asked.

"Yes," I repeated.  "I want to check this out but I don't have a library card yet so I'll need to get one."

"And you've been waiting in that long line?  I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you have to fill out a form first and..."

"Are you sure?" I interrupted, "because he looks like he's getting one just down there."  I indicated Brian who was being helped by another worker further down the counter.

"Who's getting one?"

"Brian.  My partner.  He doesn't have a card either but it looks like he's getting one.  If you can't do it I guess I can go to another guy..."

"Wait!  I can do it for you here.  You're just supposed to fill out a form first... I don't even know how he's doing it over there.  Should I even believe you?" he asked incredulously.

"I'm not lying!  It looks like he's just typing stuff into the computer..."

"What's he typing?"

"I don't know!  I don't work here.  His address and stuff probably."

Luckily Brian was finished so he came over to my line and soon we got it all straightened out.  I am now a proud owner of a library card!  Oh, and a metro card!  Saturday was quite a monumental day, wasn't it?

Sketchbook: Basic Shapes '09

These are some drawings I did during the summer of 2009 when I took an online drawing class through The Academy of Art University based in San Francisco, California.  I had to purchase a kit which included the cone, sphere, cube, and cylinder and we used those objects for a variety of assignments.  Although they offered an entire animation degree program online, I never did more than a semester with them because I didn't like the online approach.  Art class is so much better in person.  Besides, since I couldn't use the labs on campus, I would have had to purchase my own software and whatnot, which I never could have afforded on my own.  Those shapes were too costly even!