Chuck E. Cheese

Sylvia and Stasha on a ride at Chuck E. Cheese's.

When I was a kid, Chuck E. Cheese's was the coolest place ever.  It was where a kid could be a kid.  I remember a massive stage where Chuck and his pals would sing and dance.  It was so awesome!  Then Chuck himself would run around and say "hi" to all of us; high-fiving my friends and me as we stuffed our faces with pizza and played arcade games.  Finally, with fistfuls of won tickets I would select my prize and go home happy.  Chuck E. Cheese was so cool, he made Mickey look like some boring mouse.

That, of course, was years ago.  Many, many years ago.  All of my memories of Chuck E. Cheese's are from California and my family moved to Colorado when I was seven.  So we're talking a long time here.  Brian and I went to the Chuck E. Cheese's in Orem, Utah yesterday for a birthday party.  My little cousin Stasha turned four years old and I'm sure to her the place still had charm.  But for me, it was kind of a letdown.  What happened to my totally rad pal named Chuck?

You know those guys who were studs in high school but somehow never seem to amount to anything afterward?  They stay and "hang out" with all the high school kids and talk about how awesome they used to be and yadda yadda yadda... constantly living in the past.  Well, that's what Chuck E. Cheese reminded me of.  That guy.  You go in, and it's like you've stepped back into the late 80s/early 90s when Chuck used to be cool.  He's got really cheesy-looking photos up of his glory days.  There's Chuck posing with two little girls with side pony-tails and scrunchies! There he is kicking a soccer ball!

And he doesn't even look cool anymore.  He came to our table to greet the birthday girl and he just looked shabby.  He even had a handprint embedded in the fur on the back of his head... poor guy.  Somebody should tell him.  And it's crazy to me how I was once fooled by his costume.  It's so unappealing.  And the animatronics show?  Wow.  Horrible.  I'm pretty sure the singing chicken's mouth movements were still set to whatever Madonna song she had originally been singing, they just play Taylor Swift's "Love Story" over it.  That's about the extent of the upgrades.  There's also a dance performed to LMFAO's "I'm Sexy and I Know It" (sans lyrics obviously... a chicken and a mouse can't be sexy).

Although, there was a vaguely sexual animal documentary that played on the TVs for a good ten minutes or so.  It was a series of animal photos with captions played to weird porn music.  The captions said things like "Check out that goat over there" or "You're smooth, Mr. Moose" or "Oh yeah, eat that grass."  When that ended it turned into an 80s pop music video with flashing, strobe-like images of kids in neckties playing the guitar and singing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung.  That was followed by a skit with puppets teaching kids the importance of proper ventilation while painting indoors.

I couldn't handle the entertainment anymore so I just focused on the pizza... which is probably the worst pizza ever.  I've microwaved pizza rolls more delicious than that stuff.  And the pizza is freaking expensive!  My Uncle Greg spent an arm and a leg buying pizza and drinks for ten people when I know he could have baked a much better one at home with his own ingredients.  Oh well.  The games were still fun and Stasha and her little sister Sylvia had a good time winning tickets and riding rides.  Brian and I did the noble thing and gave our tickets to the girls.  We could have cashed them in for a star-shaped eraser or something, but we figured the girls would put them to better use.

Not like Stasha needed more prizes.  You should have seen all the presents she got!  Brian and I got her a stuffed Ty teddy bear which made her face light up.  I was surprised actually.  She just squeezed it close to her with this big cheesy grin, even bigger and cheesier than the ever-smiling Chuck E. Cheese who came over and frightened little Sylvia into tears before he scampered away to his aging electronic friends and the pizza that only the Teenage Mutant Turtles could appreciate.

The Gleek Critique: "Asian F" Episode

Kurt apologized for being upset over Blaine's audition and promised to support him.  Image property of Fox.

Mike Chang finally gets a front-and-center storyline in tonight's episode!  His father is concerned when Mike brings home an "Asian F" (which is just an A-) and reminds him that he can't get into Harvard with bad grades.  He also feels that Mike would be better off dropping out of the glee club, since it's only a distraction.  But Mike's heart lies in dancing, and he just can't let it go.  So he decides to audition for the part of Riff in the school's production of West Side Story, leading to a touching moment with his mother who encourages him to pursue his dreams.

Mercedes' boyfriend convinces her that she is much better than Rachel and that she should fight to be on top.  And while it's nice to see Mercedes receiving support and gaining some new-found confidence, it's not so great to see her turn into a selfish diva.  She starts showing up late, giving excuses and generally snapping at everyone.  Finally she goes head to head against Rachel for the lead role of Maria.  And in an interesting turn of events, Rachel fears that Mercedes may be better than her and decides to run for student council president... which doesn't go over so well with Kurt.  But in the end, Rachel ends up with the role after all and Mercedes joins Shelby's new glee club.

Meanwhile, Will wonders why he hasn't met Emma's parents yet so he takes it upon himself to contact them and invite them to dinner.  However, he soon discovers that Emma hasn't introduced them yet because she is embarrassed of them.  Her parents are "ginger supremacists" who only like red-headed people.  They also have a tendency of mocking Emma for her OCD, something that Will will not stand for.  The visit has Emma reverting to some of her obsessive habits, and Will kneels down to pray with her as a sign that together they will overcome it.


The Pros:

• Mercedes' rendition of Jennifer Hudson's "Spotlight" was very good, but my favorite would have to be her impersonation of Effie in the song "It's All Over" from the musical Dreamgirls.  She and the other members of the club sang all the parts and it was pretty neat in my opinion.
• Gotta love when Brittany and Mike sing and dance!  Brittany's "Run the World (Girls)" originally by Beyonce was full of great dance moves and girl power, and Mike's performance of "Cool" (from the musical West Side Story) was very very good.  I really thought Mike shone brightly tonight and proved that he really is a pretty good singer... and actor.
• Kurt quit being a baby and is happy for Blaine like a good boyfriend should be.  I loved when Blaine said, "You always zig when I think you're about to zag."  Very sweet.
• I liked the scene when Mike danced with his mother.  Priceless.
• Mercedes and Rachel did a great job with "Out Here on My Own" from Fame.  Too bad they hate each other...

The Cons:

• Finn's character has disappeared lately.  I would like to see him do... something.  I don't know.  Anything really.
• Double-casting is lame!  I would have liked it if the directors actually chose Mercedes over Rachel if they really thought she was better. Their decision was a cop-out.
• I always miss Sue when she isn't featured...

The Gleek Critique: "I Am Unicorn" Episode

Brittany is dressed as a unicorn, and Kurt is concerned it's "too gay."  Image property of Fox.

Brittany wants to help Kurt run for student body president, but her campaign ideas involve lots of pink, glitter, unicorns and rainbows.  Kurt doesn't want to be seen solely for his homosexuality, so he tells her they aren't going to use the posters she made.  However, she's stubborn and goes ahead and puts them up all over the school without his permission.  Kurt, of course, is upset about this, and it doesn't help matters that he's seen as too flamboyant to play the male lead in the school musical...

Speaking of the school musical, Coach Beiste and Ms. Pilsbury are co-directing it along with the help of Artie.  Mr. Schuester was going to do it, but he decided instead to focus all of his attention on New Directions.  He's putting the kids through a "bootie" camp to improve their dancing.  Obviously Finn is struggling the most...

And since Mr. Schuester wouldn't let the tone-deaf Sugar join New Directions last episode, Sugar's father has hired Shelby Cochran to start a rival glee club at McKinley that she will star in.  Having Shelby around creates some drama for both Rachel and Quinn.  Rachel now has to see her estranged mother at school everyday and somehow come to terms with that.  Quinn isn't sure she's ready to be a part of her baby's life, which Shelby adopted at the end of Season One.  However, with some nudging from Puck, she decides to get her life back in order to try and gain custody of her daughter!

The Pros:

• Brittany's definition of a unicorn (someone who knows they are magical) was pretty adorable.
• I loved Sue's comment about Quinn's "thin, forgettable alto."  Mostly because it's true.
• A great duet between Lea Michelle and Idina Menzel!!  "Somewhere" (from the musical West Side Story) was moving and I thought they fit it nicely into the plot.
• Kurt's rendition of "I Am The Greatest Star" (from the musical Funny Girl) was a lot of fun to watch!  No wonder Coach Beiste said, "He owned that song like it was his prison bitch."
• I loved when Santana said (of the posters), "This is toned down.  In the original the unicorn was riding you." Ha ha ha...
• I like that Finn is now working at Burt's garage.  Smart move, writers!
• Sue's exploitation of Quinn's life to further her anti-arts campaign was pretty funny.  And I really loved when Mr. Schuester told Quinn straight up to quit blaming everyone else for her problems!  Someone had to do it...
• Blaine's audition singing "Something's Coming" (also from the musical West Side Story) was fantastic!!  I LOVE BLAINE!

The Cons:

• Only three songs??  That's it?
• Seriously, I'm loving Season Three so much that it's hard to find things to complain about...

The Gleek Critique: "The Purple Piano Project" Episode

Rachel singing the intro to "You Can't Stop the Beat," image property of Fox.

I started my day with a text from my friend Rebecca saying, "Happy Glee Day!"

Yes, that's how excited we gleeks are about the start of Season Three!  Don't judge.

So Mr. Schuester is trying to motivate the glee club after their loss at Nationals last year, so he's come up with a crazy scheme to let their inner musician shine through!  Purple pianos are placed sporadically around the school, and every time they pass one they are supposed to break into song!  Crazy, right?  And Mr. Schuester is naive enough to think that this will recruit people...

However, instead of turning kids on to music, it's turned them off.  In fact, the purple pianos have motivated Sue Sylvester to run for political office with a personal vendetta against the arts in schools.  Mr. Schuester is appalled of course, and it seems like those two will be at odds forever, even despite last year's emotional truce at Sue's mother's funeral.  Sue is just evil, I guess.  So evil that she's roped Santana back in to the dark side.  She and the other Cheerios torched one of the pianos and Mr. Schue had to kick her latina butt out of glee.

Meanwhile Rachel and Kurt go to meet up with some other kids who love musical theater, and lo and behold, there are other talented people in the world!  They start feeling like they are simply big fish in small ponds and that perhaps they aren't good enough to ever make it on Broadway.  And they aren't the only ones unsure about their futures.  Finn has no idea what he wants to do, and Quinn suddenly thinks she's a rebel.

But at least they have Blaine now!  Yes, folks, he has left Dalton and joined McKinley High!

The Pros:

• "I have pepperoni in my bra."  "Those are your nipples."  Ha ha ha!  Sorry, but that was just funny.
• Will's Superman lunchbox.  Love it!  And it's adorable how Emma packs it for him, while he's making lunch for her.
• I'm happy that Kurt and Rachel are friends now.  I feel like last season they hated each other then loved each other at random, but their touching scene together this episode makes it seem like their friendship is real!  No wonder Ms. Pilsbury handed them a "Me and My Hag" pamphlet...
• Great songs!  The mash-up of the Broadway classics "Anything Goes" and "Anything You Can Do (I Can Do Better)" was phenomenal!  Loved that girl's voice (even if her face was kinda creepy).  I also really enjoyed "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead" and "You Can't Stop the Beat" featuring lots of Rachel Berry!
• I'm happy that Blaine is at McKinley now!  That means I can see more of him.  And was "Unusual" great or what?  Loved it!
• Quinn's Ryan Seacrest tattoo.  It's so weird that it's awesome.
• Mercedes has a boyfriend! Yay!
• All in all, I'm feeling positive about Season Three!

The Cons:

• Quinn suddenly being a "bad girl" with pink hair, tattoos and a smoking problem just seemed a bit... sudden.  And unbelievable.
• Santana needs to pick a side already!
• I'm getting SO TIRED of the school not recognizing that the glee kids are talented and awesome!  Seriously?  You're going to throw food at them?
• Sugar's singing voice!!  AAAH!  So awful!  I'm also unsure whether or not I'm going to like this character.

Emmys 2011

Michelle is awesome.

In other news, we watched the Emmys tonight.  She came over and watched them with Brian and me, so I guess that was actually a pretty decent opening.

Here are some of the pros and cons of the evening, assuming that A, you didn't watch it or B, you give a crap what I have to say about it.

The Pros:

• Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee if you are stupid enough not to know her) hosted and she was phenomenal!  I sure do love that lesbian!  Her opening musical number featuring lots of stars from popular TV shows was very funny, as was her bit as a Jersey housewife.  And I disagree with the characters from The Big Bang Theory because I would LOVE IT if spontaneous musical numbers passed through my apartment!
• Apart from Glee, my favorite television show is Modern Family and I was very happy that both Julie Bowen and Ty Burrell won for their roles as Claire and Phil Dunphy!  Oh, and Ty's speech was very funny!  I'm also happy to say that Modern Family took home an award for Best Direction, Best Writing and for the second year in a row they've won Outstanding Comedy Series!
• The Emmytones (a group of actors who sang little doo-wop songs) were pretty cute.  But I really loved the performance by The Lonely Island featuring Michael Bolton and Akon!  So hilarious, especially when they started grinding on poor William H. Macy!
• Matt LeBlanc (of Friends fame) has gray hair now.  I didn't know this.  He looks really good with gray hair!
• The nominees for Best Actress in a Comedy Series, starting with Amy Poehler, all ran up on the stage when their names were called... and it had all of us laughing.  Melissa McCarthy (who I love most for her role in the movie Bridesmaids, although she was nominated for her TV show Mike and Molly) won and I was very happy about it!  They gave her flowers and a crown just like she won Miss America or something.  Even backstage that woman would not take off her crown!
• Although I've never seen Boardwalk Empire or Mildred Pierce, I was happy that Martin Scorsese and Kate Winslet won awards... mostly because they are awesome and deserve it.  And did Kate Winslet look sexy tonight or what?  Loved that red dress!

The Cons:

• Some dresses were less than spectacular tonight.  Let's not lie.  Gwyneth Paltrow, Katie Holmes, Drew Barrymore, Amy Poehler and even Julianna Margulies wore some pretty ridiculous dresses.  I thought Amy Poehler was going scuba diving and Gywneth Paltrow was suddenly a belly dancer...
• Sofia Vergara's new hair color.  What was she thinking?
• Charlie Sheen.  SHUT UP ALREADY!