Waiting...

My coworkers and I signed the wall of our Zales store on its last night.  It's being turned into a T-Mobile.
The final snapchat of our apartment before we turned in our keys.

"Crap, I forgot to bring Waiting... for you.  I'll bring it tomorrow."

My friend and coworker Krystal has been saying that to me a couple times a month ever since Brian started working at Mimi's Cafe.  Now that he's a server, she thinks he'll really appreciate the 2005 comedy starring Ryan Reynolds, Anna Faris and Justin Long.  It's about waiters if you haven't figured it out.  And yes, the ellipses is really part of the movie title.  Look it up on IMDb if you don't believe me.

I just laughed and told her we couldn't be friends anymore.  Waiting for Waiting... is the last straw of our friendship.  That's it.  I'm done.  I've waited too long.

And that's how I feel with life right now.  Tired of waiting.

Since I haven't blogged in over three months (I just now realized that all six of you in Cyberland who read this have been waiting anxiously for my next post... I'm so sorry!  And if you didn't even notice my absence, just humor me), you probably don't know that lots has changed in the lives of Jack and Brian.  Where to begin?  Let's see.  Christmas was fine and dandy, New Year's was great, and then BAM!  "We're sorry to inform you that the Provo location is closing in two weeks.  You can interview for a transfer to the Orem Zales."

Yep.  My Zales location shut down at the end of January.  Thankfully, I was able to keep my job.  And I really am very grateful.  The only real downside is that the Orem location is already fully staffed, so they only had room for me and the other Provo workers to come in part-time.  My hours got cut from 40 hours to a mere 25.  That's a big deal.  So with me not making as much money and Macaron hitting a slow patch in terms of sales, Brian and I are broke!  Which leads me to the next big change for us...

We're now back to living with the in-laws.  Brian and his mom got to talking and decided that the apartment we lived in was too pricey (they even wanted to raise the rent again this year) and it would be a good idea to move back home for a bit to save up some money and look for a cheaper place.  In order to help make our living situation as cheap as possible, Brian and I have decided to get roommates.  I know what you're thinking, "A married couple with roommates?  That's lame."  And you're right, it kinda is.  But so is being 27 years old and living at home.  Brian and I are learning to embrace our lameness.

I bet you're waiting to get to the part about us waiting, right?  So here's the deal.  Brian and I looked at a house for rent near downtown Provo that we absolutely love.  It's an old home built in 1910, has tons of charm, tons of space, is walking distance from great restaurants and shops, and is generally just the bee's knees.  Brian's cousin Brett and our friend Aaron will be living with us and between the four of us, the place is very affordable (for us, almost $300 less a month than we used to pay).  We've filled out the application and now we are just waiting to hear back from them.  We filled it out Friday morning and I've literally been a nervous wreck ever since.  I cannot stop thinking about this house.  I just want to live in it!  PLEASE?

To add to the waiting, I had an interview with American Eagle on Friday afternoon for an assistant manager position.  It would be full-time hours and a pay raise, plus an opportunity to move upward in retail (an opportunity that Zales sadly doesn't seem to provide; always bringing in management from the outside).  My interview seemed to go really well and afterwards my friend Kylee, who is the other assistant manager there, told me that her boss loved me.  He said I was the "smartest applicant yet."  So now I'm waiting to hear back from that as well.

So here I am.  Waiting.  The weekend seems to drag on and I just hope come Monday or Tuesday I will know about the house and know about the job.  Please, if you're reading this, cross your fingers for me!

THANKFUL: Day 1

I'm thankful for family--that blood that flows mutually between us, around us and within us.  The blood that passes down from generation to generation.  When I bleed, they bleed.  When they bleed, I bleed.  I'm thankful for my baby niece, Amaya, who just turned a year old in October.  I'm thankful for her mother, my sweet sister, who brought her into my life... giving me yet another part of Renee to love and hold.  I'm thankful for her husband, Jaylon, who loves his family in a way that is truly manly and honorable and good.  I'm thankful for my mother and my father, both of which are deeply flawed and deeply beautiful.  I'm thankful for nights spent helping me with homework, shouldering my tears, putting up with my bad attitudes and passing fads and idiosyncrasies.  I'm thankful for my brother, Daniel, whose love for me speaks far louder than his words.  He's so quiet and calm.  But when we're together he hugs me tight and I appreciate it.  I'm thankful for his wife, Sofia, who loves him.  I'm thankful for my stepdad and stepmom, my stepbrother and stepsisters.  I'm thankful to be a part of a family that's multi-racial, multi-political and multi-religious.  A "true Modern Family" as my father puts it.  I'm thankful that baby Amaya gets to be a part of this kaleidoscopic quilt of promises and oaths and commitments.  There's sometimes heartache, that's for sure, but it's that ache that keeps us trying.

Dad

MOM

Prose Poem for English 3440

Burritos and Coca-Cola

Jack Garcia

His arm pressed against my arm, Zeek says, I’m just about as white as you, although he’s a true Mexican. He plays fútbol and wears cleats and isn’t even a citizen, although he’s lived here all his life. Speaks Spanish fluently, not the gringo Spanglish I utter. My father, brown as a Reese’s peanut butter cup, folds my potato burrito a certain way and I follow in his footsteps. Hispanic women have a chip on their shoulder, he told me once, while sipping Coca-Cola from red- and yellow-striped straws. Perhaps that’s why all his wives have been red-headed and fair-skinned, including my mother who once attended a cooking class for Hispanic women with my Aunt Rachel—I call her Tía Loca and she calls me J.J. or sometimes Joaquín. My mom felt out of place in that class, garnering glares like wasp stings from the coffee-colored mujeres until my tía told them all to fuck off. She’s my sister-in-law, she said. She belongs. I remember once in high school, being called at an assembly to receive an award for academic excellence. A white kid named Brody jokingly said, I bet you’re the first Garcia to ever win an award, and I laughed. Mia Medina, overhearing, did not laugh. Her beautiful brown eyes turned black and her eyebrows furrowed so close together she looked like the Mexican artist Frida. That’s racist, she said, don’t ever let me hear you say something like that again. On stage I accepted the award, but instead of pride I felt shame.

February?

I'm not sure if any of you are aware, but it is March now.  Yeah, March.  I'm not sure what exactly happened to February.  Maybe March ate it up like chocolates in a heart-shaped box.  Gobbled it down so quickly that it didn't even notice whether it was coconut-filled, caramel or raspberry-creme.  Just gone, like that, in a flash.

Well, over President's Day weekend Brian and I flew to Colorado to watch my little brother get married.  It's pretty crazy, but in a 6-month time frame my entire family got married.  My sister in August, me in November and Daniel in February.  All of us 3 months apart, can you believe it?

Of course, how could any of you know that considering I haven't blogged about it!  I'm so sorry.  The trip was great.  I enjoyed spending time with my family, especially my adorable baby niece!  My dad and I had some good talks over coffee, my mom took us out to dinner and my brother's wedding was simple and small, but very sweet.

The rest of the month was a blur of work and school and friends.  Some of us went out to a really fun piano bar in Salt Lake City called Keys on Main and had an absolute blast.  Our friends even paid to have the pianists play "It's Raining Men" and somehow coerced us to get up on stage and dance.  Well, either they coerced us or the cocktails did.  Probably the latter.  Then our month capped off with Oscar Sunday, which is by far the biggest and most celebrated gay holiday of them all.  We had a great time watching the ceremony with Brian's family followed by hot tubbing with friends.

So while February came and went in just one bite, it left me pretty full and satisfied.  Now we're almost a week into March... yikes.

Christmas Gifts, Part Two

My family mailed all their Christmas gifts and I opened them a little early.  Then we spent Christmas Eve and Day with Brian's family, waking up in the morning and opening presents just like we were little kids.  So fun!

A.  I managed to snag the game Yahtzee at the Kesler Family Christmas Party.  I was pretty pleased with myself.  Brian's cousin Emeli brought it... so, thanks Emeli!

B.  My mom and stepdad sent us a murder mystery party game called Pasta, Passion and Pistols!  They had me at pasta!  Ha ha... And I've never actually hosted (or been to) a murder mystery party so I'm really excited to throw one.  It should be a lot of fun!

C.  Continuing with the game theme, Brian's mom got us Chinese Checkers.  How did she know I was Chinese?

D.  My mom got me Backgammon, which I've never played before in my life.  I'm sure it can't be that hard... (see E)

E.  My mom also got me Backgammon for Dummies.  I stand corrected.  Apparently it's pretty complicated if you need a whole book to explain how to play!  But I look forward to the challenge.

F.  Brian's mom got us a new blue soap pump and toothbrush holder for our bathroom.  I'm hoping this new toothbrush holder gets less gunky than the last one... yuck!

G.  She also got us a new bathmat in brown.  (Both F and G came from our wedding registry... she's smart).

H.  New socks!  Most of ours are all holey and dingy... so I'm happy to Brian's mom got us some new ones.

I.  Brian's mom always gets us all pajama pants for Christmas and we open them on Christmas Eve.  This year she opted for athletic pants.  I think she's hinting that I'm fat and need to work out more.  She'd be correct.

J.  Brian's mom got me a really cool new shirt!  Gray and blue: my favorite color scheme!

K.  Brian's mom also got me a new tie.  Pretty snazzy.  Maybe I should start wearing ties to work more often.  Sometimes I'm too lazy and go to work looking like a hobo...

L.  My dad and stepmom got us a food scale (also from the registry).  Brian's really thrilled about it.  Like REALLY thrilled.  He's gotten so skinny from all his dieting that he needs a tiny little food scale to weigh himself!

M.  Jenny (my sister-in-law) got me the first season of I Love Lucy, just like Brian did.  Oops!  We're going to exchange it for the third season though, so no worries.

N.  Brian's mom filled a stocking for Brian and I to share... all I wanted were the peanut butter Santas!  Luckily Brian hates peanut butter, so he didn't even put up a fight when I claimed them all for myself.

O.  Brian's grandma gave us a book Cooking for Two, a homemade loaf of bread and a jar of cookie butter.  Kinda like the Santas (M), I claimed the cookie butter for myself!  I couldn't resist.  My two weaknesses--cookies and butter--all wrapped into one delicious, spreadable delight!

P.  Renee and Jaylon (my sister and brother-in-law) got us Mancala.  Games were a pretty popular gift this year!  Looks like we'll be hosting some game nights really soon!

Q.  Brian's mom got me a new votive holder.  It's long and wavy, and I think it'll go on top of the entertainment center once the Christmas stuff gets put away.

R.  Brian's mom also got me a candle warmer and lots of different scented cubes to melt.  Our house is going to smell delicious... like Grandma's Sugar Cookies or Apple Spice.

Not pictured, a gift card to The Cheesecake Factory from Daniel and Sofia (my brother and his girlfriend).  It came in the mail a few days ago and I forgot about it when piling gifts together for the photo... but that doesn't mean I'm not grateful!  Because let's face it, any gift involving food is one I'm going to enjoy!

Traditions

Christmas 2012 is my fifth Christmas spent with Brian, the fourth spent with the Kesler family and our first one as a married couple.  So far it's been a pretty fantastic holiday season.  We didn't see the lights at Temple Square or make gingerbread houses like we've done in past years, but other Kesler family traditions have held true.  We all attended the Kesler Family Christmas Party on the 22nd, which included the traditional gift exchange (where Brian scored ten bucks and I got the game of Yahtzee) and a new tradition of having the grandparents talk about some of their fondest family memories.  It was a fun and interesting night.

As for Christmas Eve, we watched How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and The Muppet Christmas Carol like we've done every year since I've known them.  We watch them in the basement family room while gorging ourselves on a spread of holiday treats.  Once all the secular fun is out of the way, we head upstairs to light the candles on the German nativity set and read about Christ's birth.  In the candlelight we sing "Silent Night" in both English and German (only Courtney and Mama Kesler know all the words in German) and then write down our "gifts to baby Jesus" on little slips of paper and then tuck them into Jesus' stocking.  Our gifts include things we are going to do for him, like be more generous or use our talents.  We work on them throughout the next year.

Before heading to bed, the siblings all exchange their gifts to one another (we always draw names) and then we open our new pajamas and one other gift from the parents.

There's something comforting about traditions.  In a world that is chaotic and ever-changing, both for good and for bad, it's nice to have things that are familiar.  Things that bring us together and remind us what life's really about.  It's about family, it's about friends, it's about love...

It's about giving.  A new tradition was added today that I really enjoyed.  We brought gifts to a family in need.  A recently divorced mother without a job wrote to her Stake President for help and the Keslers volunteered.  We all pitched in for gifts for the four children and delivered them today.  To add to the Christmas spirit we sang them carols and the mother had tears in her eyes as she hugged Brian's mom and thanked her for what we had done.  It felt good to help out.

I also personally paid for a customer's ring sizing today at work.  They're a couple that I've grown fond of and I knew their holidays would be a little brighter without the extra expense.  I didn't tell them the person that paid for their sizing was me... but they figured it out.  You should have seen the look on their faces!

So my new tradition--and not just at Christmas time--is giving more of myself to others.  I'm blessed with so much, it would be a shame not to share it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

On November 25th, Brian and I put up our Christmas tree and other decorations with the help of Amy, Brett, Emeli, Michelle and Wes.  It was a holly, jolly time!  We had Christmas music playing, hot cocoa brewing, chocolate chip cookies baking and Brian even made us Belgian waffles with a yummy apple topping.  We sure do love Christmas!

Our last Christmas tree was sold when we moved to California, so we had to buy a new one.  Brian got a good Black Friday deal on an artificial, 7-and-a-half-foot, pre-lit, slim Virginia Pine from Target.  Some of our decorations came from Target also, but many were purchased at Hobby Lobby and Tai Pan Trading.  The leaf candle holder was a wedding gift from Brett, from Bath and Body Works.  The wreaths were decorated by yours truly.

Our color theme this year was brown, gold and red, which was quite the departure from previous years.  Our Christmas decorations in our Salt Lake City apartment in 2010 were red, white and silver.  Click here to look at old photos!

Wedding Photos: Family

From family in attendance:

"Congrats, Jack and Brian!  We love you." -Renee, Jaylon and Amaya

"Welcome to a new happy life!" -Janice and Chris

"I hope you'll always find happiness together.  You've both been so great for each other.  I'm excited to see you 'officially' begin your lives together..." -Jenny

"We wish you guys the very best!" -Clark and Shanna

"Best wishes for a happily ever after!" -Greg, DawSuwan, Lauryn and Mike

"You know I love you!  And... I'm jealous you guys got to see Once.  Next time you go, take me with you.  Please?? ... And Jack, I'm so glad that you are now part of our family officially!  Congrats!" -Amy

"Love you guys!" -Liz and Wyatt

"We love you both very much." -Deborah

"Happy wedding reception!  I hope you guys could stop stressing about everything in life and having to make sure everything was perfect for a few minutes and just enjoy this marvelous union you've made together!  You guys are the best brothers I could ever ask for!" -Courtney

"Congrats!  And Best Wishes!" -Bruce and Connie

"We love you guys!  Wishing you peace and happiness." -Suz and Ryker

"Congratulations to you two!  You are such a great example of gay men, it's amazing!  To many happy memories before, and many yet to come!" -Brett

"...we care about you guys and wish you the BEST." -Kevin and Diane

"Welcome to the wonderful world of marriage!" -Daniel and Kait

"Dear Sons,
Blessings of love, Blessings of grace, Blessings of joy, Blessings of peace, Blessings of strength, Blessings of hope, Blessings of patience, Blessings of a bright future." - Dad and Patricia

Wedding Photos: Party

From our friends in attendance who weren't afraid to shake their money makers:

"I love you guys so much!  I'm glad that you two were finally able to get married." -Dyann

"Umm... yeah pretend I said lots of nice, heartwarming stuff.  I'm not much for words." -John

"Congrats!  I love you two!  And wish a happy life for you both!" -Riley

"You guys are so brave for going out on a limb like you did!  I'm so happy you went to NYC to show your love for each other.  Just remember to love each other over everything else and don't forget that life's about the little things." -Kevin

"Love you!  I'll miss you guys but I hope to see you more before I leave." -Brandon

"May your love be everlasting.  Too cheesy?  No?  Okay.  I wish you happiness all your days, much laughter, and many smiles." -Katie

"I am happy that in my lifetime I got the pleasure of seeing two lovely human beings fully commit to each other.  Thanks for paving the way for gays both here in Utah and the country at large." -Dean (Lamar) and Adam

"Congratulations!  Now keep it together and make the rest of us look stable!" - Curt

"I love you!  But you guys know that.  I would love to write something clever, but I'm not.  So let me know when you guys want that baby!" -Mineh

"Congratulations on your marriage!  I'm so happy for you and I know you'll have a lot of great years together!" -Dani

Brian's Pumpkin Soup

Brian's sister Amy has started to come over one night a week to cook with him.  They get to have a little brother/sister bonding moment and Amy gets to learn a thing or two about cooking.  Oh, and I get to eat delicious home-cooked meals so really it's a win-win for all.

The first thing the duo prepared was a delicious pumpkin soup which really put me in the fall mood.  I've been so kind as to relay Brian's recipe here for you all to try and enjoy.  If you're too lazy to make it yourself, just knock on our door sometime and have Brian whip some up for you.

Brian's Pumpkin Soup
Yields enough for 2-4 servings

Ingredients:

• 2 tablespoons of butter
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1 carrot, chopped
• 1 stalk celery, chopped
• 1 bundle of thyme
• 1 sprig of rosemary
• 2 star anise
• pinch of nutmeg
• 2 tablespoons of flour
• 1 1/2 cups milk
• 1 1/2 cups chicken stock
• 1 can of pumpkin puree
• salt
• pepper
• cream
• Golden Delicious apple (optional)
• dried cranberries (optional)

Directions:

1.  Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat.  Add vegetables and all the herbs and spices.  Cook for five to seven minutes until onions are translucent and slightly brown.

2.  Add the flour.  Cook for two minutes, stirring constantly.

3.  Whisk in the milk and chicken stock.  Turn the heat to high and, whisking frequently, allow it to come to a boil.  Once it reaches a boil, turn it to medium heat and let it cook for five minutes until thickened.

4.  Pull out the rosemary, thyme and star anise and discard.

5.  Remove from heat and puree the soup with an immersion blender or an electric stand blender.

6.  Return to heat and whisk in the pumpkin puree, cooking for five minutes over medium heat.

7.  Remove from heat and blend the soup again until very smooth.

8.  Add salt and pepper to taste and serve with a dollop of cream.  For an additional garnish, add dried cranberries and chopped apple.

Ask Joaquin: Why Are You Getting Married?

With all the wedding planning, we've been getting a lot of questions about our marriage.  Due to the sensitive nature of most of them, I've referred to those asking as "anonymous."

From Anonymous:  Why are you getting married if it's not even legal in Utah?

Ever since I was a kid I was taught that when two people loved each other they got married.  Sure, the "two people" were probably explained to me as "a man and a woman," but that didn't stop me from making the blonde Ken doll and the brunette Ken doll ditch Barbie and go marry each other.  So when I grew up years later and realized I was gay, that notion of marrying the one I love didn't go away.  And when Brian asked me to marry him some three years ago, I said "yes."  It just seemed to be the natural progression of things.  You meet, you fall in love, you get married.

And although same-sex marriage is legal in the state of New York, where Brian and I are tying the knot, I am well aware that our marriage license won't mean anything in the state of Utah.  So why bother?  Well, because it means something to us.  It means a lifelong commitment.  It means the start of a family.  It means all of the things that marriage means to straight couples.  Nobody goes into marriage saying, "I'm only doing this for tax purposes and hospital visitation rights."  No, they do it for love.  And while those are the sorts of benefits that will go unrecognized here in Utah, Brian and I will still know in our hearts that we are married.

Besides, we don't plan on living in Utah forever and we will most likely find ourselves in one of the six states that does recognize same-sex marriage someday.  And as the fight for marriage equality continues, I am optimistic that more and more states will embrace it in the future.  The world is changing.  France is on the brink of legalizing same-sex marriage within the next few weeks and not long ago Mexico did the same, joining Canada and ten other countries.

From Anonymous:  Is your marriage some kind of political statement?

Considering it's an election season and Brian's Facebook statuses are hyper-political as of late, I can see where one might get that idea.  However, this is nothing of the sort.  As I stated in the answer above, Brian and I are getting married because we love each other and that's what people in love do!  Far from trying to stir up controversy, I would say our desire to be married is probably the most conservative and traditional thing about us.

From Anonymous:  I love you guys, but my religious views are in opposition to same-sex marriage.  How do I reconcile this?

I'm going to answer this question with a bit of a story.  There's a member of Brian's extended family that expressed a similar sentiment.  She said she loved us and enjoyed our visits to her home, but at the same time worried that by attending our wedding reception she was condoning same-sex marriage which she finds contrary to her religious beliefs.  She took her concerns to the Lord in prayer, and came to the conclusion that Jesus would have gone if he were in her shoes.  We were happy to hear she was able to find a way to reconcile her desire to be supportive with her belief system.

But as much as I would love everyone to take that route, I understand that not everyone will come to the same conclusion.  It's heartbreaking that such a joyous and happy day in my life can bring about negativity... but it has to some degree.  Feeling a little down, my sister sent a text message reassuring me that no matter who may or may not be in attendance, "God sure will be."

Birthday Dinner with the Keslers

My birthday celebrations continued yesterday with a family dinner at the Kesler house.  Jenny brought her dog Lou; Amy had a friend, April, visiting from New York; Courtney invited her on-again off-again beau, Kevin; and Mama and Papa Kesler invited the grandparents.  It was a full house!

Brian made us all Tikka Masala for dinner and it was delicious!  He was very proud of how fluffy the rice came out and couldn't stop praising himself.  We couldn't stop talking about it either!  For dessert there was a chocolate birthday cake, peanut butter ice cream, and various homemade pies.  I figured since it's my birthday I can make exceptions on my diet...  Lots of sweets for me!

Afterwards Brian and Amy entertained us all by playing show tunes on the piano and serenading us with their terrific voices.  I wish we had a piano at our apartment so Brian could play for me all the time!  I bet our neighbors are grateful we don't, though...

Anyway, I'm grateful for Brian's family and the love they show me.  With my family so far away, it's nice to have them close by, ya know?  To love me and spend time with me.  Oh, and I really like it when they give me birthday money.  That part's the best!

Renee's Wedding

My family is a bit... unconventional.  We don't always do things the way everybody else does them.  And my sister's marriage was no exception.  For starters, my sister is still a teenager (and so is the groom Jaylon) and on top of that, she's like 7 months pregnant.  Yeah, we're awesome like that.

And the unconventionality of my family extended to the actual wedding ceremony itself.  Planning isn't one of our strong suits, so it was no surprise when Brian and I arrived in Colorado late Thursday night and heard that there was still a ton to do before Saturday morning.  My dad and stepmom were freaking out to put it mildly, so we volunteered to help as much as we could.

The church where the ceremony was to be held decided to do some upgrades the week of Renee's wedding, and while they thought they'd be done by Wednesday, they were not.  The inside was a mess and it reeked of fresh paint.  So my dad got the brilliant idea of pushing the ceremony outside in the little courtyard in the back.  We'd have to mow the lawn and move all the chairs, but it could be nice.  Somehow we'd get the piano outside too.  Maybe.  That might be tricky.  But we could do it.

So with the new plan in mind, Brian and I went with Patricia and Renee to Michael's to buy some fake flowers and stuff to whip up some last-minute centerpieces and some ribbon to adorn the aisle somehow.  When on a tight budget and pressed for time, some interesting things happen.  However, they didn't look half bad.  And other aspects of the wedding were going just fine.  A friend had brought the cake over, the catering was taken care of and maybe just maybe we would get it all together in time.

Later Friday night we had the rehearsal.  When Renee and Jaylon finally showed up an hour late, Jaylon's mother expressed that she was expecting 40 or so people from their side alone and we all began to doubt whether we could fit everyone outside.  So we changed our minds and decided that if we kept the doors open and the fans on maybe the paint smell wouldn't be so bad and we would just have the ceremony indoors after all.

Oh, and guess where the rehearsal dinner was held?  Burger King.  Yep, we're unconventional and super classy.

The morning of the wedding we woke up and headed to the church where the hectic craziness continued.  The tablecloths were square and the tables were round.  The caterers forgot a few things and had to go back for them.  Nobody remembered to get music for the reception.  Guests started to trickle in but they were all waiting outside and nobody could convince them to take their seats.  Then it was time to start and Renee was still getting dressed.  She had forgotten her slip and had sent Jaylon back to their house to get it.  My grandparents got lost on their way from the hotel, but by the time they arrived, the bride still wasn't ready.

The 11:00 wedding finally began at 11:45 and the guests were finally seated, tripping over the ribbon we swagged down the aisle.  The flower girl cried and refused to throw petals.  But when my dad led my sister into the room and everybody stood, all the stress melted away.  She looked so beautiful as she smiled with excitement and nerves combined.  I had the privilege of asking who gave the bride away, and my dad said "Her mother and I."  I almost wanted to stop him.  She was my little sister all grown up.

The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch.  My dad gave a beautiful sermon, Jaylon and Renee exchanged teary vows, exchanged rings and kissed sweetly, and then my mom played them out on the piano as husband and wife.

I hope the best for my sister and new brother-in-law.  They are young, financially unstable, and about to bring in a daughter so I just pray they can make it.  And you know what?  I think it'll all work out for the best.  Because my family may not be conventional, but we sure the hell are strong.

To Idaho, Yellowstone and Wyoming and Back!

Last year Brian's family took us on a fantastic vacation to Disneyland in sunny Anaheim, California!  We rode fun rides, saw Aladdin and soaked up all the magic that is Disney!  This year, our exciting destination was Rexburg, Idaho...

Wait, what?

Yup.  Rexburg, Idaho.  Brian's mom Katherine grew up there and the Barrus family decided to have a family reunion (because who knows how much longer grandparents will stay alive).  A few years ago I drove up to Rexburg with the family, so it wasn't my first time meeting most of the family members there.  We stayed at Katherine's sister Connie's house with her husband Bruce.  Fun people.  Connie is a female body builder and Bruce enjoys photography.  He likes to photograph nature scenes.  And his muscly wife.  This probably sounds pretty ridiculous but it's all true.

Tons of other aunts, uncles, and cousins were there as well, including Brian's cousin Liz and her kids Aimee and Parker.  Parker is a fun little five-year-old who had me chasing him up and down the stairs all day or playing Hide and Seek.

"I'll count and you hide," he said.  "What number should I count to?"

"Count to ten," I said.

"Do you know what number I can count to?  I can count to one thousand!"

"Yeah... just count to ten."

He also took my phone and played Draw Something with it, so if you got a screen filled entirely in green scribbles the word was "polkadot."

As far as reunion activities went, the day was pretty low-key.  In the morning we gathered for a surprise birthday breakfast in honor of Brian's grandpa LaMar Barrus.  Brian's mom put together an awesome gift basket for him and each gift represented a moment in his long life.  It was really interesting to hear about his time growing up on a farm, living and studying music in Europe, and conducting an orchestra for years.

We ate lunch at the family favorite Big Jud's, the girls did their traditional activity of fighting over their grandmother's purses, shoes and jewelry, and we played a few family games.  It was nice to be included and fun to interact with the Barrus clan... even if it meant going to church with everyone on Sunday morning.  It's okay though, because I looked dang good in my suit and it's always fun to see Brian squirm uncomfortably in a pew.

Sunday afternoon we said goodbye to everyone in Idaho and headed to West Yellowstone with Brian's immediate family.  We stopped and explored Island Park and whatnot before staying in a hotel somewhere in Montana.  The next morning we ventured further into Yellowstone and saw lots of beautiful scenery including mountains and waterfalls and geysers.  We even saw some wildlife including several buffalo, adorable little chipmunks and squirrels, a mama deer and her two babies who crossed the street right behind us, seagulls, swans, a fox that we chased through the trees and the best part of all--an American Bald Eagle!

Oh, and there was also that one creepy-looking bug that flew into Brian's shirt.

Of course we had to go to Old Faithful.  The weather took a turn for the worse at that point and began to rain so we watched it from the safety of the porch.  Here's a video I took of the eruption, which is sideways.  I don't mean the eruption was sideways.  It was vertical.  But the video is sideways.  Not on purpose.  Ugh... just don't watch it.  In fact, I'm not even going to put it in here.

Anyway, the rain stopped and the sky turned blue again and we went out on the boardwalk to explore all of the many different geysers that surround Old Faithful.  It was a lot of fun, even if the geysers smell like dog farts.  The best part was when we took a dirt trail through the mountains to see Morning Glory and the Mirror Pool and some of the other sights off the main boardwalk.  There weren't any other people besides us out there and it sure felt good to be hiking in the wilderness.  I think that was my favorite part of the whole trip.

That night we drove out to Jackson Hole, Wyoming and had dinner at Snake River Brewing.  We were with Brian's family so of course nobody ordered any beer, which the waitress thought was pretty weird:  "No beer at the brewery??"  The food was delicious though.  I had a chorizo peach pizza which I loved.  A little family argument broke out at dinner involving Brian and some foul language in a show tune which led to Brian's mom storming off into the night.  We all had to go out and find her.  That's when I knew it was a true family vacation.  I mean, without family drama it would just be a regular vacation, and who wants that?

On Tuesday morning we explored Jackson Hole a little bit, did some shopping (we came home with some Huckleberry jam, taffies and chocolate) and even rode in a stagecoach.  Those poor horses had to work extra hard to pull Brian and I around... given that we seem to get fatter every day that we're together.  At the rate we're expanding, by the time we get married next November we'll be roughly the size of baby buffalo and bursting out of our tuxedos.  I decided then and there to make some healthier choices, and had my very last Coke in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

We're home now.  Let's see how long that resolution lasts.

Stadium of Fire

Last night Brian and I went to Stadium of Fire held at LaVell Edwards Stadium in Provo.  Stadium of Fire is a huge 4th of July celebration that features musical performers and some amazing pyrotechnics.  It's even broadcasted live to the American troops overseas.  Cool, huh?  Brian's family goes pretty much every year, but this was the first time since I've been dating Brian that we've gone with them.  And the best part is we didn't even have to buy our own tickets!  Thanks, future father-in-law!

Now, this event is so steeped in Americana that Boy Scouts handled the parking.  That's right.  Once we were parked and seated in the stadium, the show began in true Utah style with an opening prayer.  The host for the evening was Alex Boye, a popular LDS singer and member of The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  The Girl Scouts led the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance and the singing of our National Anthem.  When the crowd sang "the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air," red fireworks went off accompanied by booming canons.  Very epic.  The finale of the song brought a flyover of a Hill Air Force Base 388th Fighter Wing.  The planes were so loud and I loved it!  Then the Stadium of Fire Dancers did a number to "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" and the featured musical performances began.

Scotty McCreery, winner of American Idol's 10th season, got the night started with several of his hits including "I Love You This Big."  Brian and I aren't huge country fans so we took the opportunity to sneak off to buy some food.  There was a stand selling New Orleans cuisine so we got some shrimp Po' Boy sandwiches.  Very yummy.  We also got some snow cones and headed back to our seats just as the Stadium of Fire Talent Search was going on.

After the winner was decided, the headline performers entered the stage:  The Beach Boys!  Yep, as part of their 50th anniversary tour they hit up Provo, Utah!  Apparently they performed Stadium of Fire once before in 1992 and the crowds went wild. You might think that The Beach Boys are way too old now to put on a good show, but that is far from the truth!  As America's oldest and most successful boy band--a true American classic--they kept the energy up with poppy, beachy tunes one right after the other:  "Surfin' U.S.A.", "Barbara Ann", "Don't Worry Baby", "California Girls," "Wouldn't It Be Nice", "I Get Around", "Good Vibrations" and "Fun, Fun, Fun".... just to name a few.  Their harmonies are still spot on and everyone of all ages knew the words to the songs and couldn't help but sing along.  Brian's mom and sister Amy got up and started dancing even! 

After The Beach Boys, the fireworks began!  First they did a firework show choreographed to James Bond music and then a choir led by Alex Boye sang "America the Beautiful."  The Patriotic Pyrotechnic Finale was phenomenal and I almost went deaf from the booming explosions of color in the night sky.  Such a fun night!!

Happy 4th of July!

"I always consider the settlement of America with reverence and wonder, as the opening of a grand scene and design in providence..." - John Adams

Happy 4th of July, everyone!  Last night Brian and I got into a patriotic spirit by inviting his family over for dinner and a movie.  We ate fried chicken, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, and a delicious cherry cobbler... all made by my terrifically talented chef of a man.  What's more American than fried chicken?  So good!

The movie choice was the '72 film adaptation of the musical 1776 starring William Daniels as John Adams (you might know Daniels as Mr. Feeny on Boy Meets World).  If you haven't seen the movie, it's pretty fantastic.  It's funny in all the right ways and then really serious when it needs to be.  A bit of musical camp and a lot of political drama.  The movie centers around John Adams and his fight for American independence.  Being a rather opinionated man, he wasn't much liked in congress, except for his pals Benjamin Franklin (Howard Da Silva) and Thomas Jefferson (Ken Howard) who Adams eventually coerced into penning the Declaration of Independence.  

The film shows how hard it was to convince all of the delegates that independence was necessary and achievable.  In fact, it's amazing to see how our nation's birth might never have come to pass if Adams wasn't so passionately invested in the revolution.  It's a fairly long movie (almost three hours), but so worth it at the end when they all sign the declaration on July 4th, 1776.  What a momentous occasion!

So today, as we all go out and have our backyard barbecues and shoot our fireworks, let's take a moment to recognize the men who laid the foundation for this great nation of ours.  I hope that we can continue to move forward as a society to ensure that every American citizen can have "liberty and justice for all."

I Thank God For My Father

My father is an amazing man and I love him very much.  Like the rest of us, my father has made mistakes and learned from them, fallen in and out of love, risen and fallen, and over time has become an example of humility and Christlike love.  Through his ministries at the Springs Rescue Mission where he works with the homeless and needy, he gives people hope for their futures and a firm foundation to build their lives upon.  He empathizes with the plights of others and is ever compassionate.

I still remember how nervous and scared I was when I sat on the floor of my shared room, arms wrapped around my knees as my trembling fingers pushed the buttons to call my father and tell him I was gay.  Just like a tiny grenade can unleash a powerful explosion, I knew that a little sentence--"I'm gay"--could have an equal effect on a father.  Fathers want their sons to be strong, to be manly, to be tough.  Fathers don't want gay sons.  And with his strong Christian faith, I knew that my words could invite a hailstorm of righteous anger and biblical reprimands.

But instead, my father gave me the greatest gift he could ever give.  He gave me love.  It was hard for him to handle at first, as is change of any kind, but ultimately he has given me unconditional love and support.  He sees the good in me, and for that, I will be forever grateful.

Recently my dad wrote a comment on one of my other blog posts, but seeing that most people don't read the comments, I decided to quote him here.  This is what he had to say on my "coming out" and what he believes should be the Christian response: 

When Jack came out that he was gay, I have to admit that my world was rocked with 100 magnitude earthquake. My initial response was to appeal to his love for God with passages from Romans. I prayed incessantly for God to change my son and make him straight. God made changes all right. He changed me. Though I still struggle with a lot of the theology around this issue, I am certain that God has spoken to me and revealed that I don't know everything. I have come to realize that God looks past our gender and directly to our hearts. Jack's heart is beautiful. Jack loves God. Jack seeks to bless others. I am proud of my son, Jack. I can only hope that my heart will be as beautiful as Jack's.

Christians like to say that the United States is a Christian nation, then go full steam into a biased rhetoric. The Judeo-Christian values we find in our society can be found in other societies, as well. The truth of the matter is that this is a free nation, which allows me to be a Christian, and everyone else to follow whatever religion they choose, to believe in God or not. It is also a nation that should view all of her citizens as equal with regard to rights. This is the basic question of the gay marriage issue. When I look at Jack and Brian, a couple who love each other and want to express that love through marriage, I don't see two gay people asking for something I have but they shouldn't even dare to request; rather, I see two American citizens who want the same rights as I. How in the world can I allow my preference to be superior to theirs? How can we as a free people prevent others the same benefits of citizenship because they love someone of the same gender?

I pray that Christians will learn that the most taught lesson in the Bible is to love one another. God is teaching me what that looks like. He is also showing me that He will truly be more inclusive regarding those who will live eternally with Him than we are.

I love you, Jack. I am proud to be the father of such a wonderful human being as you!!!!!

I love you too, Dad.  I thank God for blessing me with a father like you.

And while my father mentions gay marriage, I think it's as good a time as any to make an announcement.  As I'm sure everyone knows, Brian and I have been engaged for almost four years now with no wedding date in mind.  That has changed.  We have decided to get married on November 2, 2013 which will be our five-year anniversary!  I look forward to having my father--and the rest of my family and friends--in attendance.

Happy Father's Day!

Goodbye May, Hello June

May was a pretty decent month.  The best part of it was that I wasn't in school!  I almost took a Spanish course over the summer, but I was unable to obtain summer financial aid and the class would have cost me $1000 out of pocket.  No thank you.  So instead I'm just working and when I'm home I have time to clean the apartment, hang out with Brian and work on personal projects.

Apart from working on the upcoming Chihuahua Comics (the first month and a half are already scheduled to post), I've been doing some writing.  At first I was combing over the first draft of Jacky Boy and improving upon it, but it wasn't really working for me.  So then I decided to start completely over and I'm enjoying this version a lot better.  It's the same story, but I'm approaching it in a different way.  I thought my first draft said too much at the beginning, so I'm withholding more information to be more mysterious.  It's been fun to do.

Here are some other highlights from May:

• We threw a Cinco de Mayo Party at the beginning of the month and invited a random grab bag of people.  Some friends from my old Cinemark job, some Zales coworkers, Brian's family, and an old mission companion came over to eat shrimp tacos and converse with one another.  It was pretty low-key, but it was fun.
• My friend Wes came home from school and we caught a movie and had some lunch.  We even looked at some scooters because he's thinking of buying one.  I'm starting to wonder if I should get a scooter... or a car... or hell, a broomstick even if it will fly me to work!  Brian's sister Amy just got a new car and I'm jealous.  Sometimes relying on the bus or organizing rides with coworkers gets annoying.
• Mother's Day was enjoyable.  I called and spoke with my mom and my stepmom, which was lovely, and then we had dinner at Brian's parents' house.  Brian's mom loved all her gifts, including The Help on DVD which we all watched with her.
• Brian and I had a particularly enjoyable date night.  He wanted to surprise me so I didn't know what we were doing.  He took us to Macaroni Grill and then we went to paint pottery at Color Me Mine!  It was so fun!  Brian painted a sundae dish and I painted a mug.  They both turned out really great.  However, I must say that dating these days is really expensive.  Between dinner and the pottery, we spent $100 on one night out!
• Jenny's sister just had a birthday and closed on her new house around the same time.  Congrats!  May brought other moves as well.  My brother moved into an apartment with his girlfriend, which is a big step for them.  Now that they have an empty nest, my dad and stepmom moved into a new apartment as well.
• My sister found out the baby is going to be a girl.  She's naming her Amaya!
• Brian started taking art classes on Wednesday nights with a friend of his named Renae Bonsteel.  He's really been enjoying them.  One night after his lesson, Renae and her sister Candace came over to watch Spirited Away.  Brian popped some Parmesan and black pepper popcorn and it was a lot of fun.  Renae had once been to Japan so she had a lot of insight into the movie.
• Speaking of Japan, Brian has been obsessed with Japanese cuisine lately.  He's been poring over a Japanese cookbook and watching this crazy internet cooking show called Cooking With Dog.  A new Asian Market opened up in Provo recently and Brian spent a sizable portion of our grocery budget there!
• May didn't come without its share of drama.  My friend Michelle and I had a falling out and are no longer on speaking terms.  Brian's family is going through some stuff as well.  And at work, I missed my monthly sales goal by a measly $65 or so.  I was so close!!  Oh well...

Now I'm ready for June, which is Gay Pride Month!  To start it off, Brian and I are going to Salt Lake City's Pride Festival tomorrow with our friends Wes and Brett.  I'm hoping for a fun weekend.