Late last night my phone buzzed on the nightstand. I opened it and read a message from my friend Kelsey. "Jack r u up?"
I was in bed, but I wasn't asleep. Luckily, or her text might have pissed me off. I was sitting up reading Son of a Witch while Brian was in the kitchen toasting some pumpkin seeds. Yes, we do odd things after midnight.
I replied in the affirmative and she said, "I'll be over in a min."
"Um, Brian, I guess Kelsey's coming over..." I called through the partially shut door.
Brian poked his head into the bedroom, "What? Why?"
"I don't really know. She just asked if I was up and said she was coming over." Suddenly a thought crept into my mind. "I hope nothing's wrong!"
I immediately opened my phone and asked her, via text, if anything was the matter. A million horrible scenarios ran through my head. Her husband just left her and she's crying hysterically. Her husband got in an accident and she's crying hysterically. She got a paper cut and she's crying hysterically.
"Oh my Gosh! What if it's a paper cut? Do we have band-aids?" I cried aloud to a perplexed Brian.
"What?" he asked.
"KELSEY IS BLEEDING TO DEATH!"
Just then my phone started to vibrate again. That poor, brave girl! Texting me with the bloody remains of her fingers!
"No everything is fine," it read, "I just forgot something over there last night."
Brian, still looking confused, emerged from our bathroom with a box of band-aids. I hadn't even noticed him leave the kitchen.
"Why do you have band-aids? Kelsey's fine," I snapped.
With his tail between his legs, Brian put the band-aids back and returned to the kitchen muttering who-knows-what under his breath.
I soon began a thorough search of the living room. She and some other friends had been over watching a movie. The movie had been hers. Oh no! Did she leave it in our DVD player? A quick look soon revealed that was not the case. Besides, why would she so desperately need Mona Lisa Smile at one in the morning?
A sudden knock at the door stopped my pacing, and I swung it open to reveal Kelsey and Robert--smiling from ear to ear--holding a small tray of cupcakes. "Happy birthday to you!," they sang and I quickly ushered them in before they woke up our crack-addicted neighbors. The last thing anyone needed was a shooting. Their song ended and it was then I noticed the candle burning in one of the cupcakes. I made a wish and blew it out.
"Thanks, guys," I said. "Look, Brian, they brought us cupcakes!"
"With pink frosting," Kelsey bragged. "And sprinkles."
"Yes, he can see that," jabbed her husband Robert.
I just smiled. "So I guess you didn't lose anything did you? You just wanted to surprise me."
Kelsey swooped in for the hug. "Well, I felt bad for missing your birthday..."
"But you were at my birthday!" I exclaimed. "It wasn't on my birthday, I guess, but it was my birthday dinner. You gave me a gift even!"
Robert threw up his hands as if to say, "That's what I said but she doesn't listen to me!"
"Thanks, though. You are so sweet!" I said, as I gave her another hug. "Now I'm just gonna get fat. You know I'm going to eat all of these in one sitting."
And just a few minutes after they left, I did, leaving crumbs between the sheets.