"Jack" in the Urban Dictionary

At work we find many ways to entertain ourselves.  Sometimes we make inappropriate comments and then laugh like fools.  Sometimes we mock the ridiculous hairstyles of the people passing by in the mall or gossip with the kiosk folk or try out dance moves that look more or less like we're driving our car through a Subway restaurant.  Watch out for the flying lettuce and hot pastrami!

And when we're tired of dancing and talking and judging and laughing we sell us some diamonds!  Ha ha... who am I kidding?  Like we sell anything... We may not sell a lot of diamonds, but we sure like to look up random things on the internet via our smartphones.  Yesterday, for example, we felt the need to see what our names meant according to the Urban Dictionary.  Not familiar with the Urban Dictionary?  Well, you probably live somewhere rural then.  Like under a rock.  It's basically the greatest website ever that helps white people feel cool by teaching them the meaning of slang.

My name's definition gave me quite the boost of confidence and, over-the-top compliments aside, was fairly accurate in the description of my personality.  I've decided to share it with you.  Behold:

Jack -
A very intellectual, insightful man with the most honest heart.
His intentions and words are always well intended and he has the sexiest eyes in the whole world.
If you ever argue with a 'Jack' he will for sure make a "jackass" out of YOU.
He always thinks ahead and see's the bigger picture. He hates fighting/arguing (yawn) because it's boring to him, but he will always win because he plays by his own rules.
His morality is strong and he's as dependable as a solid rock. A guy you can count on. Loves meeting new people where ever he goes. Loves freedom. Hates being conformed. Won't change for anyone and wont expect you to change either.
Highly independant. Likes to use his head. And its a very powerful one..very brilliant. Humble.  Funny.  Won't lie.

Pretty awesome, huh?  I apologize for the rough grammar, but Urban Dictionary is too cool for grammar.  And do you want an example of how to use "Jack" in a sentence?

Jack is the sexiest guy ever.